id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize
