I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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