Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
