My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
