so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Success! We fucked roommates!
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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