is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
