don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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