I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Randomize
