weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
