She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize