Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
