Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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