a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
