dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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