he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
