I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
