I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
