8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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