No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
