Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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