so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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