I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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