you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
