i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
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