I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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