Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
