No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
