The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
God I need to hump something, right now.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
