having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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