my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
