on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
