I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
