so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
