I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
