You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize