Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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