i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
