What did we do last night that was yellow?
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I am naked and annoyed.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Randomize
