I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Pappa wants mamma naked
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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