Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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