Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
She even gives head with a lisp.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
