You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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