Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Randomize
