He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
you had me at cake vodka
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
