i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
