right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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