she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
