Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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