1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
