Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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