I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
