none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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