i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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