Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
