O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i just made my gag reflex go away.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
