you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
