Joe is yelling at the trees again.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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