She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
