He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
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