Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
