She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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