So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
