How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Randomize
