Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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