Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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