Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Mom said you looked used
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Randomize
