so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
