plz talk dirty to me
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize